Naked Thoughts

This is not about the figure.

She builds me a jail out of string, some
ball of yarn found on
the studio floor that suddenly
inspires her to tie
all the easels together, wrapping me into
this prison I'm paid to remain in

What we do for a buck. This joke
will make more sense
in a second

Sit still, be here now,
The only
freedom I have lies in my eyes
darting from one paint
patch to another, breathe in,
behind me, breathe out,
a plastic skeleton and a plastic
deer sniff at the backs of my legs.

The light from the window
washes onto my right tit and she
declares, no erasers. And then,
The mind is tense but
the hands are free
how true that is in
every other of my circumstances

I am dripping with discomfort,
muscles tense, eyes darting,
me thinking of how she would look
should she be looking at me

There is nothing I can do
to stay awake save
shoving my incisors into the skin
of my inside mouth
I bite myself to stay awake
but no blood comes
I would know, I'm the one
who would taste it. My jaw
is so strong, but my mouth flesh
is stronger, or maybe my
self-preservation is strongest,
and I wonder
is it possible to sustain
oneself on oneself?
To stay alive would you try
to drink yourself in?
I am lucky,
I think, that I am not
the only one
taking me in.
Don't worry about assigning
words, she says,
draw the air around her
to find her


---
(k)